Saturday, November 14, 2009

Is it okay if your husband calls other women personal names or am I just being paranoid?

I am uncomfortable with my husband calling other woman names like flower and petal to me its not right as I would not do it for me only my husband will have that priveledge, I guess it also has to do with the trust issues that have arisen again after he lied about something concerning his ex-girlfriend, did'nt expect it to happen after we got married,and after I worked so hard to put the past behind me and regain my trust in him. well other people call me names like love or babe or sugar but I don't do the same, I believe that you can still be nice minus the pet naming calling, just to add to it the woman that calls him sugar plum happens to be a flirtatious thing, I just think he should'nt be encouraging her, as much as he claims its nothing really,it could lead to something which I just could'nt deal with, cos I know how certain woman can be, it really depends on who you use personal names with i guess.Well for me it has always been about him. So am I just being paranoid?

Is it okay if your husband calls other women personal names or am I just being paranoid?
im the same i dont like my partner callin women names like honey or luv,i think it should be a personal thing and i only should be called them names,and some of the women he calls them names are flirtatious too,it annoys me and my blood boils,while some people might think its no harm,i hate it.your not bein paranoid,i feel the same.................x
Reply:I don't think you are being paranoid, it natural to feel a bit jealous. I wouldn't like it if my husband called any other woman honey or sweetheart, they are names for me only.

Actually, he usually calls most other women Doris!!
Reply:Sounds like your husband is a flirt. Respect is earned and given. Its never taken or forced. If he respects you tell him your loosing what respect you have for him. This might just make him consider his actions and treat you with the respect you deserve.
Reply:Your still worried about the past and you havent regained trust in him. The little pet names are a bit much if he loves you he would stop.
Reply:If this is really upsetting you, then he should respect your feelings %26amp; stop doing it. It's a small thing, but would give you peace of mind - so explain that to him. Then ask him nicely if he'll stop doing it. If he doesn't, you know there's a big problem, because then it's not just about him calling other women pet names, it's then about that he doesn't care how you feel in the situation.

Am I making sense? It's very longwinded, but anyway, good luck with this!
Reply:no i dont think what hes doin is ok..if my husband even thought that i would prob. have a cow..i would just tell him that it makes you mad and theres no reason for him to talk to them like that..i think thats just very disrespectful of him and if he gets upset with you after you tell him how you feel then that could be serious he should respect how it makes you feel ya know..
Reply:yes its ok
Reply:Not sure thats hard to say.I guess if it was me and a girl was calling my man names,I would confront her also and tell her there is no need for it.I wouldnt deal with it.And talk to him about it tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Reply:I understand what you are saying. Did he just start doing this or has he always done it but now it just bothers you? As for him not encouraging that flirtatious thing, I'd agree with that too. Because an affair usually starts as "oh it's nothing". I don't want to freak you out by saying that but it's mostly true. I don't know what went on with his ex girlfriend and I'm not saying you are wrong either but go back over the incident and see if maybe your insecurities did help kick that into over drive. I don't know what he did and he my have been out of line but check your own motives first.

He sounds like he's willing to work on things so maybe some counseling is in order. Because he's your husband and it is, to a certain degree, his responsibility to help you through this. But don't sit and stew in things, move on from the pet name thing for now.

Just let things be for a while before you talk to him again, and try not to hold a grudge or punish him in some way. Like withholding sex, or something. Good Luck.

Reply:Once trust has been violated, if the person is truly, truly, truly remorseful the violator will do whatever is necessary to regain it. If the perpetrator is continuing the behavior which led to the cheating, lying, etc., the old saying is replayed in your head, once a cheater always a cheater. That is resonated in your mind along with his actions.

So, no you are not being paranoid, hubby is not doing all he can to regain your trust and seems to not really care as long as his ego is being stroked by these flirtatious hos and biatches. If it bothers you, regardless, whether its innocent blah blah, your hubby should stop it. He is disrespecting you, otherwise.

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